Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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