how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
