last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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