This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
