WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
