The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
