no, he came in my armpit
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
