I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
