I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
