If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
