My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
