Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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