I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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