I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
