I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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