For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
