Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize