So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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