Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
