So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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