i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize