brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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