Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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