we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
