was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
True strength comes from lack of pants
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