Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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