Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
