i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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