look no pants
Do vagina's smell?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
