she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
