3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
