Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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