hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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