My Higher Power is John Stamos
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
