wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my shit smells like andre
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
