I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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