Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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