im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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