well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
