Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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