summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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