Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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