that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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