Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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