i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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