I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
