Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
