he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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