This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
