So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs