I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize