Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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