the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
