Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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