Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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