He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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