Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
