Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
