there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
