you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
