just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
