hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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