I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Where is the hickey?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
