We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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