Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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